Dear God

I love Jonathan's affirmation: "You did the right thing." Too cute! I have a few more of these letters, but I'm saving them for another post. So, check back soon!

Baby, it's Cold Outside

-13 °F

Feels like

-27 °F

After work this evening, I experienced something very strange. I was breathing in through my nose (not the strange part), and each time the moisture would freeze causing my nostrils to stick. It was such a weird feeling!

Yes, it really is that cold.

I once heard that people from the north have an extra layer of fat (insulation if you will) that is necessary in order to survive the frigid winter weather. Growing up in Montana I don’t remember ever thinking it was that cold. It was what I was accustomed to and I was fully equipped with my fatty insulation. Unfortunately, I no longer have that insulation. I’m pretty sure I sweated it off that first summer I spent in Oklahoma. And now that I have moved back to the Great North, my body is once again acclimating. And let me tell you, it’s rough. I am FREEZING all the time. Hence, the items on my Christmas list this year.

It does look like it is going to warm up as the week goes on. The high temperatures are above zero, and that is, well… positive news!

All I Want for Christmas

YOU! But since I can’t have you, I will settle with the following (more realistic) wish list:

1. Long-Johns (matching shirt and pant set)
2. Running Tights
3. Leggings
4. Cuddl Duds
5. Warm Socks

Do you catch my drift?

Ha! So PUNNY, I know. I just crack myself up! :)

The REASON for the SEASON

is JESUS! Thank you for the gift of AMAZING GRACE!

Reinforcement

You’ve gotta get your name out there
If you ever wanna be “Miss Lair”
The advise of a friend
Who recommends
Not to solely rely on prayer

Yes, that's right. I recently had a converstaion with a friend who teaches in the local school district. He informed me that it took him 4 years of subtitute teaching before he got a job. It's all about who you know. So needless to say, I left our conversation feeling very anxious and uneasy. I want so badly to be a teacher, but I refuse to indulge in the politics of the education system. So, I guess I’m doomed?

Luckily, I didn’t fret for too long. I quickly remembered that God is in control, he has a perfect plan, and will provide me with an opportunity to teach when the time is right. And while I really REALLY hope the opportunity will be provided sooner than later, I need to trust that his timing is perfect. Which is a whole heck of a lot easier said than done, of course!

Then, the reinforcement came in full force...

1. I received an email from the teacher I student taught with a year ago. She writes, “I hope the teaching situation works out for you. I believe God has something very special for you. Waiting is hard, but God’s blessing are worth the wait.”

2. The Bible Gateway daily verse: “An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.” Proverbs 12:25

Conincidence? I think not! God is aware of my fickle nature and my continued struggle to trust him completely. And he provided me with immediate reinforcement that I so desperately needed. GOD IS GOOD.

P.S. I'm not a poet and trust me, I know it. :)

In the Eyes of a Ranger

The unsuspected stranger

Had better know the truth of wrong from right

Cuz the eyes of a ranger are upon you

Any wrong you do he’s gonna see

When you’re in Texas look behind you

Cuz that’s where the ranger’s gonna be

I grew up watching Walker, Texas Ranger. Walker, Trivette, and Alex Cahill were all included in my weekend entertainment. I looked forward to watching them kick butt and fight crime each week.

So naturally I have a fondness for Chuck Norris. But even so, I don’t fully understand the recent obsession with him. I mean, you Google him name and a bazillion sites come up. It’s absolutely INSANE! Who knew a roundhouse kick to the face could bring such fame!

The best site you’ll find out there is the Chuck Norris – Google Search. Check it out. It’s pretty stinkin’ hilarious!

Jennifer Needs...

...a smack daddy (is this the same thing as a sugar daddy?)

...to play by 'the rules' (whatev, I ALWAYS play by the rules. It's a proven oldest trait.)

...to give birth in the next week (to WHAT exactly?!)

...a mortician (YIKES! Hopefully not anytime soon!)

...Help!

...a shave (that's what Super Shave Shower Saturdays are for!)

...Facebook (indeed. It's how I keep in contact with my friends who all live so FAR away!)

...a cane (come on, I'm not THAT old.)

...to loose some weight (i'm working on it.)

...your support (yes please!)


Thanks for the fun post idea Miss Strawberry Ruckus!

No Such Thing as a Stupid Question

I have been told all my life that there is no such thing as a stupid question. And I fully intend to relay this principle to my students someday when I am a real life teacher, (which, FYI, is totally going to happen), because asking questions is an essential part of the learning process.

That being said, I also think there becomes a point when a question becomes stupid. I know this may seem contradictory, but really it is not. Let me illustrate with the following scenario:

A fellow Team Member (TM) calls me up to ask me a question. The question: what does the “CP:0” mean on SVT? (SVT is a system this particular TM uses daily). SVT is the one system I do not have access to and therefore I have no clue. So, I escalate the question. My superior also is clueless as to what “CP:0” means and suggests that the TM call our technology department for an explanation. I go back to the TM, who is waiting ever so impatiently on hold, and advise her to call technology. She then proceeds to inform me that she has already spoken with technology. They couldn’t give her an answer and referred her to my department. She then gets pushy and asks (demands) if I could find an answer and get back to her. Uh…okay. I put her back on hold so that I can escalate the question for the second time (because I don’t’ have anything better to do). I explain the situation to a different superior who explains that opening a ticket to research the meaning of “CP:0” would be a waste of everyone’s time, especially since the desired information is not crucial to know, nor does it impact the work process. So, I go back to the TM and inform her that unfortunately I am not going to be able to open a ticket. She then gets RUDE. She hotly tells me that she finds it funny that no one can tell her what “CP:0” means and then proceeds to call me worthless. My response: YOU ARE THE WORTHLESS ONE WITH THE WORTHLESS QUESTION. WHY DON’T YOU STOP WASTING EVERYONE’S TIME AND GET BACK TO WORK YOU ARROGANT TEXAN.

Okay, so I didn’t actually respond with such hostility. But boy did I want to. Thank you Holy Spirit for that extra dose of self-control.

So you see, I don't believe the TM asked a stupid question. It was perfectly fine for her to be curious. But her insistence in finding the answer to a question that really had no significance to the performance of her job, AND the way she treated me when I could not give her an answer was flat out STUPID. I mean seriously, get a life.

Xmas Questionnaire

I've been tagged by Katie!

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? I'll have to go with the Hot Chocolate on this one...with a candy cane please!

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? He always wraps his gifts in Santa paper, of course.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? I LOVE all colors!!

4. Do you hang mistletoe? I've never hung mistletoe, but there is always some at my parent's house. They are PDA experts.

5. When do you put your decorations up? As SOON as possible! Which is usually the day after Thanksgiving.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Uh...I'll go with the mashed potatoes and rolls.

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child: A consistent favorite memory is waking up early and looking at all the treasures Santa left in my stocking! A specific favorite would be the year my sister woke me up at 1 a.m. to let me know we got a Sega. It turned out to be a Nintendo. Silly Sister.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I recognized the handwriting on the tags. It looked strangely the same as my dad's!

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? We always open one gift on Christmas Eve.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? Lights, ornaments, bows, tinsel...the WORKS!

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Absolutely LOVE it.

12. Can you ice skate? I'm no pro, but I sure do love going round and round the rink, especially when the rink is outside!

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? I look forward to my matching sister sweater every year!

14. What is the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Spending time with my family.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? My mom's homemade caramels and candy cane cookies!

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Christmas Eve shopping and lunch with my dad!

17. What tops your tree? An angel

18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? Giving

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

20. Candy Canes​!​ Yuck or Yum? YUM! But only the peppermint kind.

21. What do you want for Christmas? Long Johns

22. Do you attend an annual Christmas Party? Not a particular annual party, but I usually attend at least one White Elephant Party.

23. Do you dress up on Christmas or wear PJs? Pajamas always and forever!

24. Do you own a Santa hat? Nope

25. Who do you normally spend Christmas with? My familia


**Now, I am to tag some others who will answer the questions and pass the tag along !!

Kari

Kassi

Amy

Leslie

You're IT!

Celebrating Twenty-Six Years of Life

Twenty-six cool /unique things that I have experienced thus far in life that I hope to share with my grandchildren someday:

1. I was born in Chicago, grew up in Montana, and went to college in Oklahoma!
2. My dad cut my hair until I was in high school. I often had sideburns and/or a mullet.
3. I wore saddle shoes in elementary school. The pink ones were my favorite.
4. I was selected to represent my school in a district-wide honor choir from 4th to 6th grade. I was also a member of two different church singing groups: “Sunbeams” and “Ring it Out.” Funny thing is, I don’t sing well at all.
5. Summer before 6th grade I flew to Chicago by myself to visit my grandparents. While staying with one of my grandparents, I got very scared (they live in a bad part of town and I heard yelling and what I thought was gunshots) and so I wrote out my will just in case I didn’t make it home alive. If I remember correctly, I chose Michelle to inherit the boombox.
6. I can play the clarinet. I cannot, however, tune my clarinet without an electronic tuner. I was always first chair which meant I tuned my instrument with the electronic tuner and then the rest of the band tuned their instruments to my C. Thus, I never trained my ear.
7. I won the geography bee in 8th grade. The winning question: What is the longest country? Chile, duh!
8. I played on the school volleyball team 7th – 10th grade. I was the setter.
9. I am the oldest of seven children. My youngest brother was born when I was a freshman in high school.
10. I pole-vaulted in high school. I wasn’t very good, but it was an exhilarating experience!
11. In 11th grade I went on a music trip to Seattle. We saw the Seattle Symphony, went on a dinner cruise, saw Phantom of the Opera, and shopped downtown.
12. I’ve been to Disney World. Typhoon Lagoon was my favorite!
13. I worked at Fuddruckers my senior year of high school and NEVER got sick of the food.
14. I was a queen candidate for the Sweetheart dance and thus had to parade around the gym at an assembly. I didn’t win.
15. I received my diploma 6th out of 411 students.
16. I attended Oklahoma Christian University from 2001-2005 and then 2006-2007…five years total. I earned two bachelor’s degrees.
17. I ate sushi for the first time in Japan. It was disgusting. The cook (chef?) watched me gag and then proceeded to fry me up some chicken. I was embarassed.
18. I’ve jumped out of a plane. Solo. It was A+mazing.
19. I received Presidential honors the first two semesters I was in college. It was my very first time to earn straight A’s. Thank you Montana for preparing me so well for college! Note: the classes did become much more challenging as the years went on, but I still managed to graduated with honors.
20. I hung out in the land down under for four weeks one summer.
21. I fell in love my senior year of college. I learned how to love someone unconditionally as well as how to mend a broken heart.
22. I was a bridesmaid in three different weddings in less than a year’s time.
23. I played indoor soccer at Hat Trick for 2 ½ years.
24. After I graduated from college, I moved 5 times in one year's time. The last move I made was into the Appleway house. I lived there almost two years (forever long!), with FIVE other girls no less (not recommended).
25. I saw the Broadway show “Wicked.”
26. I got a pedicure at V-Nails every month for 8 months straight with my BFF. Say that 5 times fast.
27. I’ve been to Alaska. It is breathtaking.
28. I’ve backpacked a section of the Appalachian Trail. (Ask me what my trail name is.) 8 days without chocolate and 14 days without a shower!
29. I visited the great state of Michigan and had a FANTASTIC tour guide who took me to all the must-see attractions – Herron Household, Sand Dunes, Mackinac Island, Cedar Point, Lavonia DQ, Tigers game.
30. I’ve been whitewater rafting on the Yellowstone River.

Okay, okay. I realize there are more than 26 cool/unique things listed. But, I just couldn’t narrow it down. I guess you could say that I’m beyond my years in the cool/unique factor! Or that's what I like to tell myself anyway. :)

Cauterization

I get nosebleeds. I get nosebleeds a LOT, especially in the winter. I mean, I’m talking at LEAST once a day. And it is always in the left nostril.

I’m not sure when exactly the blood vessel was damaged. I’m thinking it might date back to 1985-86, when I was 3-ish. It was a stormy night. I remember being on my parents’ bed with a box of Alaphabets. My mom was in the bathroom doctoring up a wound my sister had just received. And maybe I was happy to have a bit of freedom from mom, or it is quite possible that I was trying to provide some comic relief (storms are scary, sister was bleeding, etc..). I don’t really know, but whatever the reason, I stuck two of the “bets” up my nose. And I stuck them up far, which naturally caused my nose to bleed profusely. And my nose hasn't been the same since. (Well, if this is indeed when the damage occurred.)

So, as you can see, I’ve been living with this condition for quite some time. And I was happy to “deal,” until recently. The nosebleeds have just become a lot more frequent and inconvenient. I mean, I get them when I’m up in front of a class teaching, when I’m riding my bicycle home from work, when I’m running on the treadmill, when the heat kicks on, when I wash my face, when I’m nervous, and the list goes on and on! So, I finally had enough! And I made an appointment with an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist.

And today was the BIG day. Yep, that’s right, today was the big nose procedure day. And let me tell you, I was not looking forward to it. My dad got his nose cauterized many moons ago and, of course, gave me all the gory details. He said the numbing of the nose was the worst part. And he also mentioned having to wear a metal bracelet to “ground” him so he wouldn’t get electrocuted. Yikes!

Thankfully, the technique has changed quite a bit over the years. I did not have to wear a metal bracelet and there was no deadening of the nerves via a 6-inch needle. Rather, the doctor used a long wooden stick that looked like a match. Basically, the blood vessel was burned with chemicals as opposed to a blow torch or electric shock. It was still a very uncomfortable procedure and I certainly hope I never have to do it again. But my nose should be as good as new in 3-4 weeks! Fantastic!

Oh, and I guess I should also mention that I got a bit lightheaded while he was packing my nose. It was a little embarrassing but he assured me it is normal. :)

I Can See Clearly Now the Rain is Gone

You know you are blind as a bat when…

Your optometrist tells you that he couldn’t order a certain brand of contacts because they don’t make them in your prescription.

Or when…

Your optometrist tells you that he is happy with your new prescription, and reminds you that with your old prescription the farthest down you could read down on the chart was line 4. (Sadly, I'm not joking).



It's great to be able to see again!

Appointment Abuse

November 6 - Eye Appointment with Dr. Felstet
November 13 - Hair Appointment
November 17 - Eye Appointment (follow-up) with Dr. Felstet
November 23 - Pedicure Appointment
November 24 - Nose Appointment with Dr. Pelczar
November 25 - Dentist Appointment with Dr. Wood

The reason for the abuse: I am a "real" person again. This basically means that I have a full time job with health benefits, two luxuries I haven't enjoyed for quite some time now. And the body is especially thankful for the MUCH needed tune up.

Seeing Double

A New Wrinkle

I have seen “ROFL” on several FB walls over the past several months and I have always been curious of its meaning. Today I looked it up.

ROFL = Rolling on Floor Laughing

Thanks http://www.dictionary.com/. I wonder no more!

My Five Senses

Sight: Almost legally blind, D

Hearing: Will need hearing aids someday, D

Touch: Normal capacity, C

Taste: Normal capacity, C

Smell: Nose like a canine, A++

I think sight would be the absolute worst sense to lose. And if I had to choose one sense to live without, I would choose to lose the sense of smell. Sure, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the smell of rain, homemade bread and cookies baking, but that would be a lot easier to live without than not being able see! Or taste! (Although…I sure would be a whole LOT healthier if I couldn’t taste.)

And, of COURSE, which sense do I excel in? The sense of SMELL! Figures.

Today was one of those days that I wished I was a victim of smelling loss. I’m not sure it is the time of year for fertilization, but it definitely smelled like manure at work. And it didn’t have a subtle or brief presence. Rather, it was potent and managed to linger in the air for quite some time - I’m thinking at least an hour. And the strangest thing about it all, NO one else seemed bothered. There was no mention of the awful smell. And I didn’t want to be the weird new girl who talks about poop.

Weakness

You guessed it. I have a weakness for Crunchy Cheddar Jalapeno Cheetos. And this rare and delicious snack just so happens to be one of the choices in the vending machine this week; which, if you remember from a previous post, is another one of my weaknesses.

I'm done for.

I posted the picture with the Nutrition Facts as a reminder that I need to fight my addiction and start eating healthy. Somehow I don't think this strategy is going to work.

So, my new strategy is to work out like crazy so I can eat all the Cheetos I want. I have appointments with two different gyms on Thursday.

The Week in Review

It's been a week since I last blogged, and there are several explanations as to why. First of all, I am still trying to recover from the hurt feelings I experienced when FB informed me that my blog is malicious (okay, not really). And second, Sister-Steph told me that I write about weird topics which completely shattered my inspiration to write.

I guess it might be true that I write about obscure topics hoping to make it sound like I lead this super exciting life. But, the truth is, the life I lead is quite normal, boring, and for the most part uneventful. That's not to say that exciting things NEVER happen. But rather that most are not significant enough to justify an entire blog entry. So instead of multiple "insignificant" posts throughout this past week, I have compiled all the "insignificant things" that happened into one entry, and have accepted that my life, is what it is. :)

Thursday - I rode my bike to work, made a really sweet PowerPoint presentation, and went to bed STARVING.

Friday - I passed the DDA skills assessment test, cleaned my room, and talked about boys into the wee hours of the night with my best childhood friend...just like the good ole' days!

Saturday - I asked God for help with a particular struggle, I found an earring in my Bible that I thought I lost months ago, I wondered if God listened to my prayer, and I ice-skated for two hours straight.

Sunday - I woke up sore, heard some extremely sad and shocking news, and was TOTALLY creeped out with a certain individual.

Monday - I bought a Chicago Bears hat, ate WAY too much candy, and had a sleepover with Sister-Steph.

Tuesday - I completed AECR training, ate Mexican food, and bought a Jade plant.

I admire those of you who continuously have exciting things to blog about! But does anyone else struggle like I do?

Wait, what?!

I am somewhat a creature of habit. For example, everyday when I get home from work I get on my computer and go through my list of favorite sites in the same exact order: Gmail, Hotmail, Facebook, Blogger, MySpace. HOWEVER. Today there was a slight glitch in my routine. And this, my friends, is how it went:

Gmail – as usual, i didn’t spend much time here. I only had a few messages of the business nature.

Hotmail – as usual, I spent the majority of my time deleting chain letter requests, presidential campaign propaganda, and promises to enlarge body parts that I do not and will not ever have.

Facebook – as usual, I denied various requests and notifications. I gained a new friend and read a new message. I finished up by writing on a few walls.

Blogger – now HERE is where it gets interesting. I always head over to blogger from FB because the link is accessible from my profile. It is a very efficient way of getting through my list. I clicked on the link and this is the message that popped up on screen:

The following website has been identified as malicious:

http://jenniferlair.blogspot.com/

The link you have clicked has been identified by Facebook as a malicious web site. For the safety and privacy of your Facebook account, we strongly suggest you avoid visiting this address.

I am not making this up or embellishing the verbiage. What in the world is going on? Did someone report my website as malicious to Facebook? I’m so confused.

Mr. Snowman,

Bring me a dream (please).

Make him the cutest that I've ever seen (pretty please).





















Hugs and snowflakes,

jennifer

And the Thunder Rolls

Last night I took Adam and Kyle to an NBA game. Yes, you read right. An NBA game. I'm really AM that awesome of a big sister. Each year US Bank sponsors a Minnesota Timberwolves pre-season game in Billings...

...and this year they just happened to be playing the OKC Thunder. I, of course, HAD to go and get my Oklahoma fix!

We had an outstanding time...

...even IF our seats may (or many not) have been in the nosebleed section! :)

Some of the most enjoyable parts of the evening include: (1) Spending quality time with my brothers. (2) Seeing how truly HUGE basketball players are. I mean, I knew they were tall, but seeing them in the flesh is quite impressive! (3) And last but not least, being entertained by Crunch. Not only is he adorably fuzzy and hi-larious, he has some MAD skillz as well. See for yourself...

Work Funny

Co-worker: Okay sir, I went ahead and filed that fraud claim. I have a reference number for you when you are ready.

Banker: Thank you! I’m ready.

Co-worker: The reference number is M as in Marshmallow, N as in Neptune, E as in Eye, 62392814.

E as in Eye?!! Ha! Now that’s funny!

Psalm 103:12

This song speaks volumes as I struggle to deal with the disconnect between my heart and my mind.

Battle of the Bachelors

B.B.A. – I can’t believe it is Friday already. Man, time sure flies…when you are employed! :) A month ago I started working for Banker Connection in Wells Fargo. It has been a pretty intense month, but I am truly thankful to be working for such an incredible company. The work environment is indescribable. I have never been a member of a team that is so accommodating and concerned about my personal success. And the recognition that is given baffles me. Every single person is recognized (at the VERY LEAST) weekly. WOW. How could you not love your job when you know without a doubt that you are genuinely appreciated for the work you do?

In addition to one of a kind support and working conditions, the financial benefits are insane. What a blessing this opportunity is! For the first time, EVER, I have a retirement plan. And it’s a good one. Wells Fargo matches dollar for dollar up to 6% for my 401(k) after a year of service. They will also start contributing to my very own pension after a year. And after only five years, I become fully vested. This benefit alone makes me think that I should stay with Wells Fargo for at least five years. And with the work environment as it is, it should be a very enjoyable five years.

VS.

B.S.E. – I still have a passion for teaching. I mean, I didn’t endure the hardest year and a half of my life going back to school for nothin’!

I really REALLY want to move to Alaska. It is such an incredibly beautiful state (I’m a sucker for mountains and moose), and the adventure of living there would be second to none. In addition to beauty and adventure, teachers in Alaska fair pretty well financially. Well, the teacher salary is at least significantly more than the teacher salaries in both Montana and Oklahoma. AND another cool thing is that you only have to teach for 8 years before you can start taking your retirement. How great is that?!

So, I’m thinking maybe 5 years at Wells Fargo, then 8 years teaching in Alaska. Only 13 years and I can retire and travel the world. Sounds like a good plan, eh?

Hump Day Happenings

Today is the first day of October. WHAT?!

My first task of the day was to ensure that the elementary and junior high children made it safely across the busy street of Broadwater Avenue. I was fully equipped with an orange vest and stop sign.

I heard on the radio this morning that drinking an energy drink is equivalent to drinking 12 cans of Coke. OH MY WORD.

On my way to work a bug flew into my hair and got stuck in the fuzz.

The cafeteria people at work burned something and set off the fire alarm.

I learned a couple of new words today in training. The first: PUPID. I do not like this word. It sounds gross. The second: voluntold. This one, however, is quite funny.

I saw dreamy-work-guy this afternoon when I went to buy a Snickers in the Cantina. He is 6-plus feet of pure handsomeness.

I needed to talk to a certain someone at church this evening and totally chickened out.

I’m going to end my day with some reading and sister-Steph-snuggle time.

I hope your Hump Day was as Happenin’ as mine!

Bookworm

I don’t enjoy reading.
I’m an extremely slow reader.
Reading makes me sleepy.
I’m picky – science fiction and romance novels are definitely O.U.T.

All that being said, I have been doing quite a bit of reading lately, which explains my absence from blog world. A super sweet elderly lady from my congregation lent me three books a couple of weeks ago. And so now I read. (Insert forced smile)

The first book I read was The Shack, by William P. Young. I chose to read this one first because it was the shortest. And I had also heard mention of it on a radio show this past summer, so I figured it would be a good read. And it’s true! It IS a good read! It is actually now one of my very favorites, which I guess doesn’t mean a whole lot since I haven’t read a whole lot of books. :) I just love how it challenged me to think about my relationship with God in a different way. I would highly recommend this book. It is a must read! Just be sure to have some tissues close by!

I am now three-quarters the way through Redeeming Love, by Francine Rivers. It is a romance (ug), but I agreed to read it because it is based (kinda-ish) on Hosea. I’m not really sure I’ve ever read Hosea. And if I have, it has been a really long time because I didn’t realize/remember that the prophet, Hosea, was commanded by God to take a prostitute for his wife. I’m going to have to read Hosea when I finish this book. I’m definitely curious! Although, I’m sure that the Bible will not include (thankfully) are many descriptive scenes. Yikes. This is definitely a book for the mature crowd.

The third book is called A Voice in the Wind, and it is also authored by Francine Rivers. Francine Rivers is one of my friend’s favorite authors and so I have a feeling that I will end up reading her entire FR collection. I wonder if there are sparknotes available (kidding). I’m not sure exactly what this book is about. I have a feeling it is yet another Christian Romance (ug). But, I will have a better idea in a couple of days when I start reading it.

I’m actually starting to enjoy reading.
Novels are easier to read than textbooks.
I read every night before bed.
I still don’t care for romance novels.

A Bit about ME from A to Z

A is for Australia – I have a passion for missions and was afforded the opportunity to go on a campaign to Australia with Kent Hartman in June 2004. It was an incredible experience.

B is for Boat – I have fond memories of sitting in a boat and eating peanut-butter M&M’s while fishing with high-school friends Kaitlin and Alison. I hope someday we can go fishing again. Ice fishing, that is, in Alaska!

C is for Candle – When I sit down to have my personal Bible study time or write in my prayer journal, I always light a candle. It reminds me of God’s presence.

D is for Donuts – I absolutely LOVE donuts. And so does my sidder, Stephanie Dell. This summer we took turns buying donuts for each other. It is a delicious summertime tradition. I am going to have to see what I can do to make sure this tradition is carried on throughout all the seasons…

E is for Elephant – The elephant is one of my two favorite animals. (The other is the moose. What can I say, I like the big ones). I have been told that when I was little I went to the zoo and said, “Elephants talk loud.” It was then logical for them to become my favorite.

F is for Friend – I could use a good friend right now.

G is for God – I can’t wait to hug God.

H is for Hardcore – I realized this summer that I am NOT hardcore. I LOVE camping and hiking, etc…, but two weeks backpacking in the wilderness was too long without showers, beef and chocolate.

I is for Iowa – My dad almost took a job in Iowa when I was in 8th grade. I’m glad we didn’t move.

J is for Japan – I shared my faith for six weeks in Japan the summer after my freshman year of college. It was a tremendous growing experience and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. My sister, Michelle, is now living in Japan and I pray that her faith is growing like mine did. I also hope that I can visit her while she is there!

K is for Kiss – The first time a boy kissed me I thought it was gross. I didn’t understand how people enjoyed such a thing. But the more I kissed, the more I have come to really enjoy the activity. Ha! :)

L is for Laugh – I LOVE to laugh. But, I’m somewhat of a snob when it comes to laughing. I refuse to give courtesy laughs.

M is for Mz. – I wish that the Ms. title would morph into Mz. Mz. looks so much cooler. And let’s face it, ladies who have to select title (like myself) could use some extra coolness.

N is for Noodle – If you ever spend time with my family, don’t be surprised if someone calls you a noodle. In my family, noodle is (really) a term of endearment. My dad is the head noodle.

O is for Obama – I know that it is just a rumor that Obama is Muslim. However, it still really scares me that he has a hint of Muslim background, even if it’s an itty bitty, teeny weeny, tiny bit.

P is for Piano – I really, REALLY want to learn how to play the piano. I know how to read music as a result of all my band years, and I have taught myself some. I just get frustrated when I have to start moving my fingers up and down the ivories. Does anyone know of a good piano teacher in Billings?

Q is for Queen – If I could be queen for a day, I would spend the whole day at a spa. Facials, and massages, and pedicures OH MY!

R is for Reading – I don’t enjoy reading. I would MUCH rather solve algebra problems or make spreadsheets in Excel.

S is for Shack – Currently, I am reading The Shack, by William P. Young.

T is for Thanksgiving – Sometimes my birthday falls on the same day as Thanksgiving. These birthdays are always the best. I mean, you get the best birthday meal AND presents. That’s one unbeatable combination! One particular Thanksgiving birthday, I remember receiving a Precious Moments KJV Bible from my grandparents and a pair of purple overalls from my parents. Oh, and I can’t forget the matching purple clip-on earrings!

U is for understand – I have come to realize that I will never fully understand God, his timing or his ways. Well, while here on earth at least.

V is for Vending Machines – Vending Machines are my weakness. In college I spent all of my laundry quarters on vending snacks. YUM.

W is for Wish – I wish that I was in Alaska right now, teaching. I know, I know. I need to get over it.

X is for Generation X – I’m not exactly sure what Generation X is, but I do know that I like a couple of Miley Cyrus’ songs.

Y is for Yodeling – I want to learn to yodel so that when I travel to the Swiss Alps someday I can show off my yodeling skillz.

Z is for Zipper – My ultimate FAV ride at the fair is the Zipper, hands down. I was first introduced to this delightful ride back in the 90s by my dear friend, Kristine.

I'm Yellow with a SPLASH of Red

On Monday I started my new job. It is not the job I was hoping to have this Fall, but I certainly can’t complain. I have been given an opportunity to work for an INCREDIBLE company and I am overwhelmed with gratefulness.

It’s been a very l o o o n g and tiresome week. I am not used to sitting and listening eight hours a day! The first day was especially taxing with all the company policies and procedures to go over, but thankfully the rest of the week was much more bearable and motivating as we learned about the various programs and systems of the specific job. The trainers also incorporated some fun activities throughout the week as well. We had an ice breaker, played “Thumb Ball,” and took a personality assessment to determine which “color” we are.

I am Yellow. Yellow = Responsibility. Basically what this means is…

I value rules, tradition and authority.
I belong to organizations and contribute to my community.
I handle details well, and I’m a hard worker.
I am useful, productive, a contributor.
I care for others – by upholding the rules.
I anticipate and prepare for the future.
The home and family are the core of society.
It’s important to have structure, laws, and controls.
I appreciate awards and public recognition.
I provide stability within an organization.
I demonstrate my love in practical ways.

And that pretty much sums up my personality – a rule-abiding, structure-loving perfectionist. Well, that is of course before taking in account for that SPLASH of red. Red = Adventure. And I have an undeniably adventurous personality. I don’t agree with everything that characterizes a red, but there are a few characteristics that have a strong presence in my personality. Thus, the aforementioned SPLASH…

I want to explore.
Variety and excitement are fun and stimulating.
Let’s find a new and different way to do it.
Games are for winning, mountains for climbing.
Rules that don’t make sense should be broken. (Well, maybe not broken, but modified so that they do make sense).

Can you see the SPLASH of red? Or maybe it would make more sense to say that I am yellow with red spots. Either way, I think you’ll agree with my analysis. :) And you should definitely check out The Pace Palette to see what color YOU are. It’s very interesting and fun!

Bulls Eye!

I think I may have found my TRUE calling. A professional darter. And I know what you’re thinking, that this profession is FAR from my educational skill set. That’s certainly indisputable, but my natural talent really can't be suppressed any longer!

This past Sunday I was reminding my dad about the dart tournament we had earlier this summer; and how I beat every single male (Dad, Brian, Kyle and Adam) one after another. I was unstoppable. But for some silly reason my dad was convinced that my winning streak was pure luck. RIGHT. And then he went on to say that he could beat me if he just put his mind to it. UH HUH. Now, I will admit that my dad has great determination and usually IS successful whenever he “puts his mind” to something. But I also know that my victory earlier this summer was definitely not luck. So, I challenged him to a game.

We played a game to 301. I beat him. He still had 169 points to go! I cannot even begin to describe how great it felt to SMOKE him! :) We, of course had to play best out of 3 games. He won the second game, but then I ended up winning the last game. SWEET VICTORY!

Dad wanted a rematch tonight. And this time I only needed two games to whip his sorry rear! Love you, Dad! :)

Gesundheit

I have always struggled with knowing whether or not to say “Bless You” when someone sneezes. I realize it’s a strange thing to contemplate, but then again, I’m pretty strange myself so it works. :) So far, I have not found any rule of etiquette to help me with my conundrum. I mean, there are some people out there who will “Bless You” no matter what the circumstance. You sneeze, you will be blessed. During a lecture, in the middle of a prayer, in the bathroom, wherever! There’s no stopping them from blessing you! And then there are people out there who will never ever bless you when you sneeze. You could sneeze sixteen times in a row and it wouldn’t cross their mind to bless you.

What is the purpose of saying “bless you” anyways? I’ve heard that in the olden days people said “bless you” to make certain that the demons stay out of your body. But in other languages, such as Spanish and German, the words used when someone sneezes are words of health. So, maybe it is a gesture of wishing good health upon a sneezing person?

Or, maybe it’s just a an act of kindness. I spent three weeks in the wilderness this past June with a good friend of mine. She has allergies and so naturally she did quite a bit of sneezing each day. Since she is a good friend, and I felt it was an appropriate situation (not during a movie, etc…), I always said “Bless You.” And she always replied, “You too.” At first I just ignored her response, but she kept saying it and so I asked her why she always says “you too.” She told me that she found it to be a good opportunity to return the favor and bless the person that was blessing her. Interesting concept.

This week I am babysitting a little 2ish year old boy. He is so cute! And he is even cuter now because he is becoming much more verbal. Some of the words he uses frequently are: help, please, more, oh no, plane, kitty, milk, and cheese. He also says, “Excuse me” when he toots (too cute!). And he always says, “Bless you” when I sneeze. It is adorable. My heart melts every time and I really feel blessed. Not just because of this little tyke’s words, but because of his unconditional love for me.

I'm still undecided about the whole sneezing thing. But one thing’s for sure, I’m going to try to bless others more often, whether they are sneezing or not.

"Besh ew!"

Ramblings from an Insomniac

I wrote the title for this blog entry just now and thought I was being clever with my made-up word: “insomniac.” When the little squiggly red line didn’t appear, I was shocked and immediately consulted http://www.dictionary.com/ for further investigation of my inventive vocabulary. Turns out I’m not as inventive as I thought. Oh well. The flip side proves that I’m more intelligent than I give myself credit, or perhaps that I’m extremely lucky. It’s a toss-up, really. :)

Anyways, on to the real issue at hand: it's bedtime and I'M WIDE AWAKE AND BUSHY TAILED.

I have been having bouts of insomnia every couple of months for the past year. It started last October when I had several nights in a row where I couldn’t sleep. Then I had another couple of sleepless nights in January. And now I am once again dealing with this terrible condition.

Cure: I have never really had a problem with falling asleep before this last year. Ever. I am that person that can fall asleep anytime, anywhere. I even have that rare Travel Sleeping Disorder (TSD). You know, the one where a person falls asleep after a mere 30 minutes in a car, plane, train, etc… Let me tell ya, I’m not very fun on road trips! So you can imagine how lost I was when I experienced my first episode of insomnia last October. After hours of staying up reading and wasting time on FB, I finally decided to go for a drive. I hoped that my TSD would help get me into my desired state of unconsciousness. So, I got in my car and drove to the next town, 30 miles away, at 3 in the morning. The drive made me sleepy alright, but unfortunately I didn’t factor in the 30 miles I had to drive BACK to my house. I almost didn’t make it back alive. So when the next night of insomnia came along, I got smart and went grocery shopping instead. It turned out to be just as effective and much more practical.

Cause: I think the cause of these spells can be directly associated with various stresses in my life. The first episode occurred during a very stressful time. I was taking a full course load and working part-time. I had long days and not enough hours to complete everything as perfectly as my perfectionist personality would have liked. All the while I was trying to figure out what to do and where to go after my fast-approaching graduation ceremony. Another memorable episode surfaced during a time of great stress due to a dysfunctional relationship. And now, I guess you could say I have great anxiety concerning my overall life and future.

Whine: Cheese? Yes, please!

These past ten months in particular have been very challenging. It seems like every major life decision I have made has failed in one way or another. It’s been very heart-wrenching, discouraging, and has left me feeling hopeless. This is not at all how I pictured my life to be at 25.

I think the most frustrating aspect about my life currently is that I have really, REALLY, tried to take the appropriate time and measures to make the right decisions. I have been prayerful. I have sought after God. I have tried my very best to trust Him completely. And decision after decision, plan after plan has left me broken and in tears. My dreams of being in a loving, godly relationship: crushed. My dreams of having my very own classroom of adorable immpressionable kiddos: crushed. I’m far too stubborn to give up, but I’m just so terrified right now of failing that I really haven’t taken too many steps forward. Rather, I’ve been wallowing in self-pity. I’ve been running. I’ve been ignoring the numerous problems. And I’m embarrassed and ashamed to admit that I’ve been ignoring God.

Resolution: I’m sorry this is such a “Debbie Downer” post. I guess I just needed to confront my struggles and emotions head on. And I’m hoping that doing it publicly will keep me accountable to turning my current, seemingly "rotten" life around. And there are several proactive steps I’m going to work on each day this next week.

1. Stop pulling out my hair.
   
2. Go for a run – one, nice and easy mile.
   
3. Read my Bible.
   
4. Talk to God.
   
5. Make a list of recent BLESSINGS in my life.

I leave encouraged by the inspired words of James and pray for a good night’s rest.
“Come near to God and he will come near to you.” James 4:8

Bull Cuts, Mullets and Rat Tails

Bull Cuts
Yes, I realize that this type of haircut is actually called a Bowl Cut. However, I didn’t come to this realization until much later in life. Imagine the revelation…a bowl used by the stylist to create and perfect this fabulous do. Ingenious!

I’m not really sure the reason for the misunderstanding. I guess I’ll just have to blame it on the fact that I’m a visual learner as opposed to an auditory one. And this can be traced back to my genetic makeup. Not only are my ears big, but they are a bit defective as well. But I am not alone in this. These genes run deep in the Lair family. Which…can make for entertaining family reunions. There’s a whole lot of shouting going on!

Mullets
Business in the front. Party in the back.

I have spent the last several weeks going through boxes and boxes of “stuff” I’ve accumulated over the past 25 years. I’ve done a lot of junk tossing, treasure finding and organizing. Today I tackled all my computer files from college. I put them on CDs and filed them away. While sorting through the various files and pictures, I found the treasure of all treasures: a PowerPoint solely on Mullets. It makes me laugh every time I watch it. This mulletude is just too good not to share. Leave me a comment if you want me to email you the presentation. I guarantee it will not disappoint!

Rat Tails
The thought of a rattail makes me shudder. There is NO excuse for such a hairstyle, and parents who allow or encourage one should be reprimanded.

Taking a Chance with the Fancy Ants

Fantasy: I have given considerable thought over the years to what I would ask for if I was confronted with a wish-granting genie. I have numerous imperfections, so it’s hard for me to pick JUST three. But after serious contemplation, these are the three wishes I have decided upon:

1. I wish to be able to sing like Martina McBride
2. I wish to have a long, beautiful neck
3. I wish to have incredible wit.

Please and thank you.

Reality: I am a horrible writer. I have a significantly limited vocabulary. I am also not very creative or witty. Reading my work is drab and needlessly boring. It’s quite sad and embarrassing actually!

Therefore by natural contrast I LOVE numbers. I love their consistent nature. I love that you never have to second guess whether or not a 2 is a 2. And I’m still pushing for number communication. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?! It sure would clear up all the miscommunication that is going on! I mean, you wouldn’t have to wonder which witch is which. Or likewise, if someone wished you a “Happy Father’s Day,” you would know exactly what they meant.

Confession: I’m fearful of having my thoughts out here in blog world. I’m terrified of criticism. I’m also scared that my life is too dull to write about. I wish I was witty. That would make it all better.

All that being said…PLEASE BARE WITH ME AS I ATTEMPT TO BLOG!!

Or, I should say...PLEASE BEAR WITH ME AS I ATTEMPT TO BLOG!! (That's better, eh!?)